Dear wifey - The Dog

Dear Bunda,

There is a story about a boy who get a dog as gift. But the dog only have 3 legs. The boy hate the dog and is angry to his mom who give it. The mom only smile and talk softly "it is special dog honey. Later you will like it".

While grumbling "yes special. With three leg only" said the boy leaving his mom, but calmer now.

Inside the boy's room, the dog try to impress its new owner by bringing ball and ask to play with while barking softly. "Auf auf...".

The boy while sitting in front of his computer, ignore the dog. "Leave me alone don't bother me." Silent. "You cannot catching ball with only three legs."

The dog keep insisting with so cheerful expression. If it is a human he must be smile very sweet.

To make the dog stop bothering him, the boy take the ball and throw outside the room. The dog immediately looks so happy, can be seen from its shaking tail. "Go catch the ball!" said the boy. The dog start to run. Buy only after few steps it fall in its face because it seems so difficult to run only with three legs. But the dog try to stand again. Still cheer-full. Few more steps and fall again. The boy then feel so guilty. "Hey you stop!". He approach the dog which fall again and again. But the dog seen always happy. Shaking tail, bright eyes and a kind of smile face even with only three legs. "Why you seems always happy?" The boy ask while caring the dog in its head. "You cannot run like that." The boy continue to talk.

"Auf auf." The dog respond with happy bark. It still want to play.

"Ok lets go play ball outside. But just catch the ball slowly, don't fall." Said the boy smile now.

Both of them then walking outside the room. A dog with three legs and his master, a boy who only has one leg.

***

Have you feel great-full today? If not, please do so. Even with all challenges in our life, we are blessed with a minimum complete physically.

PS: I love you

Dear wifey - Sentimental Rain

Dear Bunda,

I don't have interest yet to meteorology or climatology. But climate -- one of theme researched in those mentioned science, is always affecting our daily life. One inforrmel signal of season change in tropical country Indonesia can be derived by it's naming. When the naming of the month is end with "ber" like September, October and November, rain season has come.

I often write, rain often bring sentimental feeling. Asphalt is wet, the air is humid and the temperature is cold. Singapore has been poured by rain again almost everyday since last week. But at least in here there will be not to many negative side effect of rain. As far as now there is no flood or even puddle and without any significan reason usually no traffic jam.

Sometime my memory is thrown back to previous one year in my life. That was when I was still in Jakarta. When I was working, rush hour come to office and going home from office will be literally rush and hectic. In normal condition all the vehicle will be stuck in that rush hour. For the driver it will stressful. For the public transport passenger, it will be boring time to home. The situation will be worst when the rain come. Even for very short rain, congestion will be increased significantly. Travel time can be doubled. When I was in university, I remember a moment when some of my friend spent 5 hours to home, because of the rush hour after rain.

Without elaborating to much, on of the main reason of the traffic congestion is overload road capacity. When rain come the congestion become so significant higher because there will be a lot of bottleneck happen on the road. First bottleneck is careless motorist who take shelter in the middle of the road (usually below flyover or bridge) and disturb traffic flow. Second because vehichels have to queue for passing some small to large puddle.

But that was a memory. Rain or not rain in Singapore the road traffic will be usually same. I just often enjoy sentimental moment in the bus ride to home. Rain is sweet and scary. Sweet because the cold that it brings can make us calm and scary because heavy rain usually brings black cloud with a lot of thunder. In Singapore we just need to wait for the last month with "ber" ending passed to leave this sentimental season. Hopefully can meet another rain season in next year.

PS: I love you

PS: After sending this I hope you also don't mind if this email will be published in my blog as well. :D But I send to you first. ;)

Dear wifey - The Power of Impulse Control

Dear Bunda,

In Emotional Intelegence, one famous book of Daniel Goleman, has emphasized the importance of delayed gratification. This concept is introduced through Marshmallow Experiment conducted by Walter Mischel at Standford University. In that experiment, some children is offered a marshmallow. If the kid can resist not to eat that immediately and wait another 15 minutes he can get one more marshmallow. But for the kid who cannot resist temptation and eat the first marsmallow before 15 minutes then he cannot get second marsmallow.

Some years later, researcher follows progress of the children at adolescence time. Researcher sees "the delayers" -- the child who can wait is somehow more successful rather than "the grabber" -- the child who took gratification directly. The delayers have more impulse control than the grabbers.

Impulse control is an important component of Emotional Intelegence. Impulse control is so easy in concept but need strong commitment in practice. Impulse control is element that distunguish between success people and not too success. Also distinguish honest authority vs corupt authority. Corruption is one habit which a person cannot stand against immediate gratification.

The common sample of impulse control can be found in morning wake up. When we don't have anything to do e.g. In weekend we usually will add sleep time more than necesary even though maybe we also not totally sleep but just lying lazy on the bed. We enjoy to take more sleep rather than wake up directly to do more useful things. In other day when we have an important things todo like going to work or school in the morning we can wake up easier or at least we can push ourself to wake up from the bed. From this sample we can conclude that brain actually have full capacity in controlling how we react again immediate gratification. We just need to train ourself harder to stand against immediate gratification. You can read how we can train ourself in The Power of Practice post.

Hopefully next time when someone offers a marshamallow we can little bit patient and wait hopefully he will give another marshmallow. ;)

PS: I love you Bunda I am sorry I am still in the state of trance in writing. I still using blogging style in this letter. Hopefully you don't mind if I post this writing to my blog as well. :D

Dear Wifey - Little Angel

Dear Bunda,

Sometime we feel like can fly to the sky. Sometime we feel like don't have any energy to stand up. Human heart and mind is not mechanical. It is continuosly changes. Fly to outspace straightly if you feel want to fly. Never let you down when you can't stand up. Try to stand on your feet slowly. Maybe difficult but at the end perhaps you will realize that even you can run.

Those words just came to my mind when I went outside my apartment this morning. At the same time I had a vision about you. Suddenly I remember the day when you picked me up at hospital using long blue dress. Even though you always try to act silly, you cannot deny yourself that you are always georgeous. Especially when you are wearing a long dress. I still remember that along the way home thay day you made me laugh all time with your funny and cute act. But still you are always georgeous for me.

Other suits of you that I love so much is your red long skirt. You look awesome with that. When we were leaving bukittinggi you wear that skirt. We were taking several silly photo. Like the one you put your finger inside your nose. Silly, funny and still georgeous at the same time.

Dear wifey I just want to say I am so lucky to have wonderful wife like you. You are trully my love and my angel.

One closing story about angel. A son approaching his mom and start to speak. "You always call my little brother as little angel, right?".

"Yes my dear he is." Answer the mom while she still quite busy cleaning something.

"Then if he is my mom little angel, we he cannot fly when I threw him from balcony." The son continue while walking away.

Mom: "What!!!???"

PS: I love you

Dear wifey - Taken

Dear Bunda,

Seeing you sleep so peacefully make me feel miss you so much. You are trully an angel for me. With enermous patient and care. Sometime I often shy still haven't as care as you. But believe me, inside here in my heart I always care and love you. I will do anything for you.

I remember you throw me a hard question at the moment before we got married. More or less you had asked, "How long you will go, to get me back if I taken from you?" You asked to me at that time. It was one hard question. I want to answer correctly without being too bullshit. I don't like word and rhetorical playing. Just talking so much but not represent a truly of us. I prefer to be judged from what I am doing not just from what I am saying. I forgot what was my answer that time. But in silence I want to answer, I will do anything for you.

Seeing you sleep is like seeing our future. Seeing how will our children looks like. Obviously like her sweet mother. Seeing about my dream to have a proper and honored life. Happy inside out. Life with contribution to other as well. I don't know the exact form of that contribution yet.

Anyway, this is maybe just a short email. I just want to say from the deepest of my heart that I always love you. "How long you will go, to get me back if I taken from you?" I will answer, I will never let you taken from me.

PS: I love you

Dear wifey - Iqra

Dear Bunda,

This mail have been written since yesterday. But I just sent today, to fulfill quality control criteria. ;)

I always curious about knowledge and sophisticated things. You must be have known since I was children I was so interesting with outer space exploration. I wanted to be an astronaut at that time. The curiousness is always here with me.

At high school we were teach Calculus. Like I always fascinating with sophisticated things, I was also so fall in love with Calculus. Yes it is so sophisticated. Most of my friend was complaining, "this study is useless!" they said. "We will never use ridiculous thing like this in real life. Then why we supposed to learn" They continue to complain. Indeed, if real life that they mean is just ordinary job or just selling something in traditional market they will never need Calculus. But for the things beyond that we will always need even more than that. Creating spaceship rocket or build super computer for example.

Recently I am interesting with an emerging branch in science that we call as Complexity Science. As its name implied, this science study about complex things. Such as modeling economic behavior into computer simulation, understanding human connection through internet and even understanding about ant behavior. This study also emerge just recently because current capability in information technology which make more possible to do most of calculation and simulation when needed.

Close from that there are also similar discipline that is called system engineering. This field usually study something so big and complex like developing a airplane or high scraper building. From all those invention I arrive in one realization, "How come human can invent so that great thing?" We often riding an airplane, but most of us will not bother about how it work and why it can fly. Same like not too many people take much concern about how their laptop can be functioned. I am not. I always curious even though realize to arrive to that full understanding I will need so many fundamental knowledge, when I think even I only have understanding of basic calculus. Anyway, we need more than calculus, to invent most greatest invention of this century.

Yesterday, while doing nothing I spent sometime to read an article about Concorde airplane. I knew this sophisticated airplane since long time a go. I triggered to read that again after reading first chapter of Jeremy Clarkson book. Clarkson is a host of Top Gear in BBC a automotive review show. He is machine expert. Back to Concorde, for sure this plane is one of other human greatest invention. We call it as supersonic jet. Supersonic because it can fly faster than sound (sonic). About 2 times of sound speed. Sound speed is around 1.235 Km/Hour. But the plane have to retired, because likely human not only need something sophisticated but also there are still so many things need concern, like environment and economical efficiency. Like other things, I was so astonished by how come human can invent this jet. What kind of knowledge that they have?

Like usual hopefully this "love mail" will not make you confuse. I just want to share about my big interest about how our world and all the things inside it is working. Start from interest we supposed to do a shallow discover and then deep discovery. From discovery then we continue to looking problem. From that then we move to offer a solution. This is a cycle of research which most academical people do. Basically, knowledge can make people closer to God. Because finally we have to admit that we cannot understanding so many things. But at least we can learn as many as we want. We cannot read all the things but we can spare sometime and read some good things and share. In religion we are teach with one so fundamental concept. Iqra.

PS: I love you

Dear wifey - Live in harmony

Dear Bunda,

Ada satu firman Allah yang selalu aku ingat yaitu mengenai alasan Allah menjadikan manusia bersuku-suku dan berbangsa-bangsa tak lain untuk tujuan saling mengenal. Multikulturalisme dan keragaman fisiologis manusia itu terkadang aku membuat heran. Bagaimana mungkin semua manusia yang satu nenek moyang Nabi Adam (setidaknya yang diyakini oleh penganut agama samawi) bisa berkembang dengan demikian berbeda-bedanya. Beda fisik, beda ras, beda bahasa, beda budaya, beda kebiasaan dan beda-beda yang lain.

Keragaman menjadi semakin terasa saat kita menjadi minoritas. Beberapa hari ini di Singapura sedang heboh berita tentang statement rasist di sosial media yang dikeluarkan oleh seorang asisten direktur sebuah badan yang punya afiliasi dengan pemerintah. Tak pelak kelalaian tersebut langsung ditanggapi dengan sangat keras berupa pemecatan. Pemecatan yang berbuah dari sebuah posting facebook. Bahkan perdana menteri Singapura pun sampai mengeluarkan pernyataan juga. Kurang lebih, sekarang di sini banyak orang yang mendengungkan mengenai no tolerance for any statement that bother life harmony.

Life in harmony adalah sebuah eksklusifitas yang dengan beruntung bisa kita dapat. Berbeda dengan beberapa saudara kita yang menyedihkannya hidup di negara Islam yang tengah konflik. Sebut saja Palestina, Libya atau Irak. Tadi pagi bahkan di BBC memuat artikel tentang seorang gadis muslim pakistan yang ditembak di kepala oleh taliban hanya karena menyuarakan pentingnya pendidikan bagi wanita. Ia baru berusia 14 tahun. Tentu saja pelakunya pasti adalah oknum yang biadab. Demikian juga dengan banyak konflik di negara Islam lain pun bukan tak mungkin adalah buah propaganda dari orang-orang yang tidak suka Islam dengan memanfaatkan oknum pemimpin Islam rakus yang haus kekuasaan.

Inti yang sebenarnya ingin aku angkat di sini adalah bagaimana kita yang minoritas sebagai muslim bisa membangun keunggulan terhadap mayoritas non muslim. Topik yang agak berat mungkin untuk sebuah email cinta. Keunggulan di sini bukan harus dalam artian menguasai dunia. Tapi bisa unggul misalnya dalam kekayaan ilmu dan unggul dalam memelihara sikap dan perilaku yang baik. Setiap manusia itu adalah agen dari setiap atribut yang ia bawa. Jika ia muslim maka ia adalah agen Islam. Jangan sampai karena perilaku yang tidak baik orang akan sekejap mencap muslim dengan tidak baik juga. Misalnya, aku masih suka heran dengan Indonesia. Mayoritas muslim tapi perokoknya banyak. Mayoritas muslim tapi sendal saja bisa hilang di mesjid. Aku juga tak mau muslim dicap tidak disiplin, padahal sudah dilatih disiplin 5 kali sehari.

Dari semua hal kurang baik yang cukup besar tersebut ada satu langkah yang bisa kita lakukan. Kita sebaik mungkin menjadi agen Islam yang positif. Apalagi sekarang kita ada di posisi yang strategis sebagai minoritas. Kita harus selalu berusaha untuk membawa pesan positif dari atribut yang kita bawa. Kita harus terbiasa membuat orang lain melihat orang Islam itu disiplin, pekerja keras, cerdas, toleran, berpikiran terbuka namun tetap berpegang pada prinsip dasar. Jika sudah melakukan hal tersebut secara minor saja maka kita sudah bertransformasi dari sekedar penganut namun juga bisa sedikit berdakwah. Setidaknya dalam tataran mencontohkan perilaku. Aku sadar aku masih jauh dari relijius. Namun aku selalu sadar pentingnya Islam dalam kehidupan dunia dan akhirat.

Di akhir email ini aku tutup dengan sebuah cerita. Di London ada seorang imigran muslim yang menjadi supir bus. Di satu hari setelah seorang penumpang rutin membayar ongkosnya. Si penumpang naik dari satu halte dan turun di halte dekat sebuah mesjid setiap harinya dan selalu bertemu supir bis yang sama. Si penumpang ini adalah pria tua Inggris tulen. Namun di hari itu si supir muslim ini kurang membeli kembalian 10 sen. Ia baru sadar setelah si penumpang itu duduk di bangku belakang. Dalam hati si supir ini berkecamuk. Haruskah aku kembalikan uang 10 sen ini? Ataukah biar saja toh hanya 10 sen si penumpang itu pun belum tentu sadar. Lagi pula si penumpang itu adalah orang kafir. Akhirnya dia bulatkan tekad untuk tak mengembalikan uang 10 sen tersebut. Tak lama bus mendekati halte tempat si pria Inggris itu biasa turun. Si pria Inggris itu bersiap turun. Bus berhenti dan pintu bus terbuka. Tiba-tiba si supir bus itu memanggil si pria Inggris. "Tuan, anda masih punya sisa kembalian di saya." Ucap si supir bus sambil memberikan 10 sen. Ternyata di detik terakhir si supir bus berubah pikiran. Meski si kafir itu tak tahu tapi Allah pasti tahu. Akhirnya ia berubah pikiran untuk mengembalikam 10 sen tersebut.

"Bagus." Ujar si pria Inggris. "Saya menguji anda. Sejak beberapa minggu ini saya tertarik dengan Islam. Saya mendapat informasi bahwa di daerah ini anda adalah salah satu muslim yang sangat taat. Saya sengaja memberikan ongkos lebih untuk tahu bagaimana nilai-nilai Islam yang anda anut. Anda telah meyakinkan saya untuk masuk Islam". Seketika si supir bus merasa hampa sambil beristighfar bahwa ia sempat hampir membuat persepsi buruk.

Dear bunda, semoga sedikit celoteh dalam email ini dapat menggantikan beberapa email yang absen kemarin.

PS: I love you