Dear Bunda,
I just get back from bath room. I see you have been sleep so tight. The sleeping beauty.
I love your puppet show so much. I still remember, even though I was so sleepy, I laughed so hard yesterday morning. You always find a way to spreach cheerish around you. Most of time with unpredicted way. Like puppet using fingers represent hijab girl.
Since I was child I always adore with a girl who are using hijab. I adore them because their faith in obeying religion rule. At the beginning it seems that woman have to face stricker rule than a man in religion. Woman have to wear hijab, woman have to be this, have to be that, bla bla bla. But I disagree even from subjective view, I believe religion rule has been prepared with equally fair for both man and woman. For some woman just try to find justification to against the rule, especially about hijab. Most of them will say, I am still not prepared, I will cover my heart first with hijab later my body. Nonsense.
There is almost no timeslot to obeying the rule. When there is rule then we have to follow now, not later and not I will. Saying I will wear hijab when I am ready is similar with saying I will stop eat pork when I am ready as a muslim. Of course at inner level of human mind and human behaviour there will much more complexity about this attitude. Hopefully when we have daughters later we can teach them with very proper way about religion rule within their habit also make sure that they can be understand and not just be a follower.
Btw, it has been time for me to go to office. I cannot wait another episodes of your puppet hijab girl tomorrow.
PS: I love you.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Dear wifey - Dream and Vision
Dear Bunda,
Right now, while chewing jual banana (read: sale pisang) in my mouth and drink some ginger drink from you while listening latest episodes State of Trance I write this email.
I always love to talk about future dream. I like to imagine. I like to aim the target. I love the challenge. Speaking about future dream actually there are two types of people based on how they react to their dream. First is a dreamer. Obvious. The second one the most important is a visionary. Similar but not same (remember the clause of serupa tapi tak sama :p ).
A dreamer is a person who just live in his dream. Flying here and there like a junkies. He have many things to achieve in his list. Hist mind full of imagination about how is when the dream come true. But this type of person is lack of effort. Most of time, his dream is just a dream. Like a cloud in the sky. Visible but not tangible. Dreamer is a person who look forward but just looking without moving.
The second type is the best. Visionary is a person who look forward and start to move immediately. He have list of things to do and just do it. Visionary is never wait the perfect moment, he fetch the moment. When he want something he will start then talk. Not talking too much but never start.
By the way, this distinction is based my own analysis, so most likely you will not find elsewhere and this concept most likely will be not too valid :). By the way again, I share this concept just to make sure I am not too often to be a dreamer but more to be a visionary.
This story just come out after enjoying your morning talk about future. A family, children, a life, a car, a vision. Let's take that dream together while always holding hand each other. Thank you for always share your beautiful dream and vision.
PS: I love you
Right now, while chewing jual banana (read: sale pisang) in my mouth and drink some ginger drink from you while listening latest episodes State of Trance I write this email.
I always love to talk about future dream. I like to imagine. I like to aim the target. I love the challenge. Speaking about future dream actually there are two types of people based on how they react to their dream. First is a dreamer. Obvious. The second one the most important is a visionary. Similar but not same (remember the clause of serupa tapi tak sama :p ).
A dreamer is a person who just live in his dream. Flying here and there like a junkies. He have many things to achieve in his list. Hist mind full of imagination about how is when the dream come true. But this type of person is lack of effort. Most of time, his dream is just a dream. Like a cloud in the sky. Visible but not tangible. Dreamer is a person who look forward but just looking without moving.
The second type is the best. Visionary is a person who look forward and start to move immediately. He have list of things to do and just do it. Visionary is never wait the perfect moment, he fetch the moment. When he want something he will start then talk. Not talking too much but never start.
By the way, this distinction is based my own analysis, so most likely you will not find elsewhere and this concept most likely will be not too valid :). By the way again, I share this concept just to make sure I am not too often to be a dreamer but more to be a visionary.
This story just come out after enjoying your morning talk about future. A family, children, a life, a car, a vision. Let's take that dream together while always holding hand each other. Thank you for always share your beautiful dream and vision.
PS: I love you
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Dear wifey - Morning Story
Dear Bunda,
I am blessed to have you as my wife. People usually have one default feeling. Some oftenly behave negative. Some always positive and some just neutral. I think I exhibit neutral behaviour. Not happy and not unhappy as well in my default. I can be happy but sometime later I also can be gloomy.
But you are very different. You are always excited and cheerful. Always full of expression and spirit. Like this morning, when I wake up, you immediately share an anermous dtory with full of excitement. I was so enjoying that. You spoke not just use your voice. You used all of your body and heart.
Later when we have children for sure all of them must be as cheerful anf expressive as you. Not just neutral like me. Have a good day for today honey. Enjoy your free time without lecture this week but keep studying.
PS: I love you
I am blessed to have you as my wife. People usually have one default feeling. Some oftenly behave negative. Some always positive and some just neutral. I think I exhibit neutral behaviour. Not happy and not unhappy as well in my default. I can be happy but sometime later I also can be gloomy.
But you are very different. You are always excited and cheerful. Always full of expression and spirit. Like this morning, when I wake up, you immediately share an anermous dtory with full of excitement. I was so enjoying that. You spoke not just use your voice. You used all of your body and heart.
Later when we have children for sure all of them must be as cheerful anf expressive as you. Not just neutral like me. Have a good day for today honey. Enjoy your free time without lecture this week but keep studying.
PS: I love you
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Dear wifey - Bajaj Driver
Dear Bunda,
India quite similar with Indonesia in term of transportation system. Although recently they start to develop a lot of new modern public transport system like MRT but most of existing option will be tradional. One of the example is Bajaj the very familiar three wheel passenger vechicle.
This is one of the story of arogant bajaj driver. Seems to be arogant until we can see more what is inside him. One day he drive his bajaj around corner of Bangalore. Finaly he got one passanger. The passanger want to be drop off in another corner of the city. After negotiating the price the made an aggrement. The bajaj is taking off. Along the way both of them talk something for a while. Sometime both of them also just silent.
India similar to Indonesia, specially Jakarta in the traffic. Trafic jam, a lot of impatient and undiscipline driver also horning everywhere and everytime. Noisy and hot. In redlight there are many unusual people as well. Variety of seller and sometime beggar. One beggar approaching our bajaj to the passenger deck asking some money for food. Without taking too much time the passenger give some money. Then the beggar ask money again to bajaj driver while holding his hand up. The bajaj driver ward the beggar hand as a sign he don't want to give any. "Go!" Said the bajaj driver. But the beggar start to annoying and force keep asking. "Go!" Bajaj driver again.
The passenger then remind the driver "Hei don't be like that. Have a manner. Give some money will not make you poor".
Finally green light so the bajaj move again. "He looks so healthy and complete, he supposed to work not just begging money." Finally the driver speak again after sometime of silent.
The bajaj arrive at destination and the passenger get down. Once more the passenger speak something "You supposed to respect beggar. They just unlucky people. Don't be so that stingy." The driver doesn't respond anything and just move a way.
Sometime later, the driver after driving his bajaj around the town and drop off some another passenger he stop in one of small foodstall for lunch. He turn off the engine and open his front door. His left leg is getting outside from the cabin. Then a walker stick comes later. There is no right leg. Empty only up to his thigh. He then walking slowly helped by his walker stick to the food stall. Taking rest a while after whole day hard work.
***
Dear bunda, the story can be interpreted as we want. Little bit similar like yesterday story. The most important thing is never judge to early. Respect should be we more put to hard worker rather than a person who just not work.
PS: I love you
India quite similar with Indonesia in term of transportation system. Although recently they start to develop a lot of new modern public transport system like MRT but most of existing option will be tradional. One of the example is Bajaj the very familiar three wheel passenger vechicle.
This is one of the story of arogant bajaj driver. Seems to be arogant until we can see more what is inside him. One day he drive his bajaj around corner of Bangalore. Finaly he got one passanger. The passanger want to be drop off in another corner of the city. After negotiating the price the made an aggrement. The bajaj is taking off. Along the way both of them talk something for a while. Sometime both of them also just silent.
India similar to Indonesia, specially Jakarta in the traffic. Trafic jam, a lot of impatient and undiscipline driver also horning everywhere and everytime. Noisy and hot. In redlight there are many unusual people as well. Variety of seller and sometime beggar. One beggar approaching our bajaj to the passenger deck asking some money for food. Without taking too much time the passenger give some money. Then the beggar ask money again to bajaj driver while holding his hand up. The bajaj driver ward the beggar hand as a sign he don't want to give any. "Go!" Said the bajaj driver. But the beggar start to annoying and force keep asking. "Go!" Bajaj driver again.
The passenger then remind the driver "Hei don't be like that. Have a manner. Give some money will not make you poor".
Finally green light so the bajaj move again. "He looks so healthy and complete, he supposed to work not just begging money." Finally the driver speak again after sometime of silent.
The bajaj arrive at destination and the passenger get down. Once more the passenger speak something "You supposed to respect beggar. They just unlucky people. Don't be so that stingy." The driver doesn't respond anything and just move a way.
Sometime later, the driver after driving his bajaj around the town and drop off some another passenger he stop in one of small foodstall for lunch. He turn off the engine and open his front door. His left leg is getting outside from the cabin. Then a walker stick comes later. There is no right leg. Empty only up to his thigh. He then walking slowly helped by his walker stick to the food stall. Taking rest a while after whole day hard work.
***
Dear bunda, the story can be interpreted as we want. Little bit similar like yesterday story. The most important thing is never judge to early. Respect should be we more put to hard worker rather than a person who just not work.
PS: I love you
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Dear wifey - The Dog
Dear Bunda,
There is a story about a boy who get a dog as gift. But the dog only have 3 legs. The boy hate the dog and is angry to his mom who give it. The mom only smile and talk softly "it is special dog honey. Later you will like it".
While grumbling "yes special. With three leg only" said the boy leaving his mom, but calmer now.
Inside the boy's room, the dog try to impress its new owner by bringing ball and ask to play with while barking softly. "Auf auf...".
The boy while sitting in front of his computer, ignore the dog. "Leave me alone don't bother me." Silent. "You cannot catching ball with only three legs."
The dog keep insisting with so cheerful expression. If it is a human he must be smile very sweet.
To make the dog stop bothering him, the boy take the ball and throw outside the room. The dog immediately looks so happy, can be seen from its shaking tail. "Go catch the ball!" said the boy. The dog start to run. Buy only after few steps it fall in its face because it seems so difficult to run only with three legs. But the dog try to stand again. Still cheer-full. Few more steps and fall again. The boy then feel so guilty. "Hey you stop!". He approach the dog which fall again and again. But the dog seen always happy. Shaking tail, bright eyes and a kind of smile face even with only three legs. "Why you seems always happy?" The boy ask while caring the dog in its head. "You cannot run like that." The boy continue to talk.
"Auf auf." The dog respond with happy bark. It still want to play.
"Ok lets go play ball outside. But just catch the ball slowly, don't fall." Said the boy smile now.
Both of them then walking outside the room. A dog with three legs and his master, a boy who only has one leg.
***
Have you feel great-full today? If not, please do so. Even with all challenges in our life, we are blessed with a minimum complete physically.
PS: I love you
There is a story about a boy who get a dog as gift. But the dog only have 3 legs. The boy hate the dog and is angry to his mom who give it. The mom only smile and talk softly "it is special dog honey. Later you will like it".
While grumbling "yes special. With three leg only" said the boy leaving his mom, but calmer now.
Inside the boy's room, the dog try to impress its new owner by bringing ball and ask to play with while barking softly. "Auf auf...".
The boy while sitting in front of his computer, ignore the dog. "Leave me alone don't bother me." Silent. "You cannot catching ball with only three legs."
The dog keep insisting with so cheerful expression. If it is a human he must be smile very sweet.
To make the dog stop bothering him, the boy take the ball and throw outside the room. The dog immediately looks so happy, can be seen from its shaking tail. "Go catch the ball!" said the boy. The dog start to run. Buy only after few steps it fall in its face because it seems so difficult to run only with three legs. But the dog try to stand again. Still cheer-full. Few more steps and fall again. The boy then feel so guilty. "Hey you stop!". He approach the dog which fall again and again. But the dog seen always happy. Shaking tail, bright eyes and a kind of smile face even with only three legs. "Why you seems always happy?" The boy ask while caring the dog in its head. "You cannot run like that." The boy continue to talk.
"Auf auf." The dog respond with happy bark. It still want to play.
"Ok lets go play ball outside. But just catch the ball slowly, don't fall." Said the boy smile now.
Both of them then walking outside the room. A dog with three legs and his master, a boy who only has one leg.
***
Have you feel great-full today? If not, please do so. Even with all challenges in our life, we are blessed with a minimum complete physically.
PS: I love you
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Dear wifey - Sentimental Rain
Dear Bunda,
I don't have interest yet to meteorology or climatology. But climate -- one of theme researched in those mentioned science, is always affecting our daily life. One inforrmel signal of season change in tropical country Indonesia can be derived by it's naming. When the naming of the month is end with "ber" like September, October and November, rain season has come.
I often write, rain often bring sentimental feeling. Asphalt is wet, the air is humid and the temperature is cold. Singapore has been poured by rain again almost everyday since last week. But at least in here there will be not to many negative side effect of rain. As far as now there is no flood or even puddle and without any significan reason usually no traffic jam.
Sometime my memory is thrown back to previous one year in my life. That was when I was still in Jakarta. When I was working, rush hour come to office and going home from office will be literally rush and hectic. In normal condition all the vehicle will be stuck in that rush hour. For the driver it will stressful. For the public transport passenger, it will be boring time to home. The situation will be worst when the rain come. Even for very short rain, congestion will be increased significantly. Travel time can be doubled. When I was in university, I remember a moment when some of my friend spent 5 hours to home, because of the rush hour after rain.
Without elaborating to much, on of the main reason of the traffic congestion is overload road capacity. When rain come the congestion become so significant higher because there will be a lot of bottleneck happen on the road. First bottleneck is careless motorist who take shelter in the middle of the road (usually below flyover or bridge) and disturb traffic flow. Second because vehichels have to queue for passing some small to large puddle.
But that was a memory. Rain or not rain in Singapore the road traffic will be usually same. I just often enjoy sentimental moment in the bus ride to home. Rain is sweet and scary. Sweet because the cold that it brings can make us calm and scary because heavy rain usually brings black cloud with a lot of thunder. In Singapore we just need to wait for the last month with "ber" ending passed to leave this sentimental season. Hopefully can meet another rain season in next year.
PS: I love you
PS: After sending this I hope you also don't mind if this email will be published in my blog as well. :D But I send to you first. ;)
I don't have interest yet to meteorology or climatology. But climate -- one of theme researched in those mentioned science, is always affecting our daily life. One inforrmel signal of season change in tropical country Indonesia can be derived by it's naming. When the naming of the month is end with "ber" like September, October and November, rain season has come.
I often write, rain often bring sentimental feeling. Asphalt is wet, the air is humid and the temperature is cold. Singapore has been poured by rain again almost everyday since last week. But at least in here there will be not to many negative side effect of rain. As far as now there is no flood or even puddle and without any significan reason usually no traffic jam.
Sometime my memory is thrown back to previous one year in my life. That was when I was still in Jakarta. When I was working, rush hour come to office and going home from office will be literally rush and hectic. In normal condition all the vehicle will be stuck in that rush hour. For the driver it will stressful. For the public transport passenger, it will be boring time to home. The situation will be worst when the rain come. Even for very short rain, congestion will be increased significantly. Travel time can be doubled. When I was in university, I remember a moment when some of my friend spent 5 hours to home, because of the rush hour after rain.
Without elaborating to much, on of the main reason of the traffic congestion is overload road capacity. When rain come the congestion become so significant higher because there will be a lot of bottleneck happen on the road. First bottleneck is careless motorist who take shelter in the middle of the road (usually below flyover or bridge) and disturb traffic flow. Second because vehichels have to queue for passing some small to large puddle.
But that was a memory. Rain or not rain in Singapore the road traffic will be usually same. I just often enjoy sentimental moment in the bus ride to home. Rain is sweet and scary. Sweet because the cold that it brings can make us calm and scary because heavy rain usually brings black cloud with a lot of thunder. In Singapore we just need to wait for the last month with "ber" ending passed to leave this sentimental season. Hopefully can meet another rain season in next year.
PS: I love you
PS: After sending this I hope you also don't mind if this email will be published in my blog as well. :D But I send to you first. ;)
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Dear wifey - The Power of Impulse Control
Dear Bunda,
In Emotional Intelegence, one famous book of Daniel Goleman, has emphasized the importance of delayed gratification. This concept is introduced through Marshmallow Experiment conducted by Walter Mischel at Standford University. In that experiment, some children is offered a marshmallow. If the kid can resist not to eat that immediately and wait another 15 minutes he can get one more marshmallow. But for the kid who cannot resist temptation and eat the first marsmallow before 15 minutes then he cannot get second marsmallow.
Some years later, researcher follows progress of the children at adolescence time. Researcher sees "the delayers" -- the child who can wait is somehow more successful rather than "the grabber" -- the child who took gratification directly. The delayers have more impulse control than the grabbers.
Impulse control is an important component of Emotional Intelegence. Impulse control is so easy in concept but need strong commitment in practice. Impulse control is element that distunguish between success people and not too success. Also distinguish honest authority vs corupt authority. Corruption is one habit which a person cannot stand against immediate gratification.
The common sample of impulse control can be found in morning wake up. When we don't have anything to do e.g. In weekend we usually will add sleep time more than necesary even though maybe we also not totally sleep but just lying lazy on the bed. We enjoy to take more sleep rather than wake up directly to do more useful things. In other day when we have an important things todo like going to work or school in the morning we can wake up easier or at least we can push ourself to wake up from the bed. From this sample we can conclude that brain actually have full capacity in controlling how we react again immediate gratification. We just need to train ourself harder to stand against immediate gratification. You can read how we can train ourself in The Power of Practice post.
Hopefully next time when someone offers a marshamallow we can little bit patient and wait hopefully he will give another marshmallow. ;)
PS: I love you Bunda I am sorry I am still in the state of trance in writing. I still using blogging style in this letter. Hopefully you don't mind if I post this writing to my blog as well. :D
In Emotional Intelegence, one famous book of Daniel Goleman, has emphasized the importance of delayed gratification. This concept is introduced through Marshmallow Experiment conducted by Walter Mischel at Standford University. In that experiment, some children is offered a marshmallow. If the kid can resist not to eat that immediately and wait another 15 minutes he can get one more marshmallow. But for the kid who cannot resist temptation and eat the first marsmallow before 15 minutes then he cannot get second marsmallow.
Some years later, researcher follows progress of the children at adolescence time. Researcher sees "the delayers" -- the child who can wait is somehow more successful rather than "the grabber" -- the child who took gratification directly. The delayers have more impulse control than the grabbers.
Impulse control is an important component of Emotional Intelegence. Impulse control is so easy in concept but need strong commitment in practice. Impulse control is element that distunguish between success people and not too success. Also distinguish honest authority vs corupt authority. Corruption is one habit which a person cannot stand against immediate gratification.
The common sample of impulse control can be found in morning wake up. When we don't have anything to do e.g. In weekend we usually will add sleep time more than necesary even though maybe we also not totally sleep but just lying lazy on the bed. We enjoy to take more sleep rather than wake up directly to do more useful things. In other day when we have an important things todo like going to work or school in the morning we can wake up easier or at least we can push ourself to wake up from the bed. From this sample we can conclude that brain actually have full capacity in controlling how we react again immediate gratification. We just need to train ourself harder to stand against immediate gratification. You can read how we can train ourself in The Power of Practice post.
Hopefully next time when someone offers a marshamallow we can little bit patient and wait hopefully he will give another marshmallow. ;)
PS: I love you Bunda I am sorry I am still in the state of trance in writing. I still using blogging style in this letter. Hopefully you don't mind if I post this writing to my blog as well. :D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)